My own personal definition of God has changed rather dramatically over the last several decades.  I was never formally taught to believe in an anthropomorphic God, rather a God that is Love, Life, Principle, Truth, Mind, Soul, and Spirit.  However, growing up in America, or perhaps even in this world of television and public schools and diverse peoples, it was inevitable that I should accept a God of Him or Her or Father or Father-Mother.  So when I prayed, it was also inevitable and perhaps forgivable that I would pray to an anthropomorphic concept – not exactly that guy in the sky with a long white beard, but often somewhat close to that.  World thought seeped into my little brain and I gradually took on an anthropomorphic concept whether I wanted to or not.

Around 25 years ago I had my first rock the boat experience working with my religious teacher where my God concept was so severely challenged that it shattered and broke to smithereens.  At the time it was a devastating experience.  Looking back, it was, of course, a great turning point in my life and actually spurned a huge amount of growth on my part because I needed to have my false concept exposed and done away with.  For a couple of years I even stopped praying because I had no idea who or what I was praying to.

Gradually, through study, meditation and certainly a form of prayer, I built back my concept of God on a different and more scientific and, you might say, natural gut level.  I took great steps to eliminate that “guy in the sky” concept from my understanding as much as possible.  I stopped using the gender words of He or She in reference and decided that in this English language, God would simply be, for me, an It.  I changed my prayers from requests basically to acknowledgements – acknowledgements of gratitude, acknowledgements of infinitude, acknowledgements of goodness, etc.

Over time I felt much more comfortable with this concept and actually lived quite well with it for a number of years until it too began to evolve yet again.  I remember thinking to myself, “Oh boy, here we go again.  When will I ever nail this down?”  Now I know that in this lifetime here on Planet Earth, the answer is probably “never”.  The language is insufficient, this mortality a bit too confusing and far too many questions lie unanswered.

So as I’ve studied and prayed, when I’ve had my minor and major revelations about God, I’ve just let them come and tried to stay calm about it all and work it through to see if demonstration proved new thoughts to be valid.  Within the concept of the tares and the wheat, I decided to just see what worked for me and trusted my basic goodness knowing that the mistaken ideas would simply fall away or go blowin’ in the wind in their own time.

Around the turn of the century I became very interested in Quantum Physics and read everything I could get a hold of, that my unmathematical brain could attempt to grasp.  The discoveries of physical science always seemed antithetical to spirituality to me – having more to do usually with the material.  And so I grew a great but respectful distrust of physical science.  I’ve also never gone to doctors or taken medicine because I’ve been able to handle ultimately any healing I’ve needed through prayer.

So I read and pondered with great interest, the recent breakthroughs in quantum physics that came along and that actually, for the first time, supported many of my spiritual beliefs and understandings.

One of these readings that I’ve kept filed away for a number of years sheds light on some of these findings.  I’m embarrassed to say that I don’t know where I found this article – somewhere surfing the internet – but suffice it to say that there are thousands of articles on the subject that put forth the same ideas.

“Quantum Physics and the Undivided Whole”

“Eastern religions are built on the notion that we humans, the universe and God are all part of one undivided, seamless, inseparable whole—one collective consciousness. Quantum physics today is pointing to this notion as reality. Physicist Walter Heitler, author of a standard textbook on light/matter interaction, says that in spite of its obvious partitions and boundaries, the world in actuality is a seamless and inseparable whole. Fritjof Capra, in the Tao of Physics, as well as Deepak Chopra in Creating Affluence adds to this concept. David Bohm, author of The Undivided Universe, says, “One is led to a new notion of unbroken wholeness which denies the classical analyzability of the world into separate and independent parts. … The inseparable quantum interconnectedness of the whole universe is the fundamental reality.”

“Einstein said, “The illusion that we are separate is an optical delusion of our senses.” Irwin Schroedinger, the quantum physicist who developed the wave equation in quantum physics says, “If we could just measure the sum total of the minds in the universe there would be just one.”

Mary Baker Eddy,  a woman whose works I’ve read over my lifetime, said over a hundred years ago in her seminal statement on life and being, “There is no life, truth, intelligence, nor substance in matter. All is infinite Mind and its infinite manifestation, for God is All-in-all.”  This last part, God being “All-in-all” always eluded me, though somehow I trusted its truth, honored its largess.  But grasping God as all on this planet I found often illusive and too often simply a mystery.

Then along come the principles of quantum physics that seemed to say the same thing.  Finally physical science was shedding light on spirituality instead of fighting it.  Finally the science of Mind and the science of matter were seeming to merge instead of moving in opposite directions.

And so my concept of God began to change, to evolve once again.

Now I must warn you here, dear reader, that this story has no ending – only a continuum.   I’m not going to come to much of anything, no great climax, no dramatic turning point.  Once again, I’m simply moving on through another maze of new thought and intelligence about my own personal view of God.  I may be even barking up the wrong tree here, but it all sure is fascinating and at this moment seems to make some exciting sense to this man’s mind.

And so I take these thoughts and move on through life, eating breakfast, washing my hands, laughing with my wife, making my music – and trying to apply the principles of this new God idea to the every day things of life.  Have I really got something here?  Maybe.  Is it all worth pursuing? Absolutely!  Will it all change once again?

Probably.