A family pastor once said at a funeral. “Ed is like a cracked walnut, the shell is here and the nut is gone.”

I’m back to work on my new CD, Going Home, reflections on crossing over and beyond.

It’s a little tricky sometimes writing music about death. It’s a subject that I’m presently fascinated with, but I’m not looking at it in the usual ways – tragic, sad, devastating and final.

Rather, I’m trying to see the experience from different angles – trying to make some practical sense of it all.

I’m also trying to make the CD an inspiring piece about an experience that we all will face some day and probably don’t consider enough in our lives. Yes, there’s clearly a deep sadness attached to the experience. We usually don’t want to leave and hopefully, there are folks around us who don’t want us to go.

But it strikes me that once we do begin the experience, it will be a fascinating ride into the unknown. This is why I would not want to die in my sleep. I want to be wide-awake while I’m going through it.

So in the course of my compiling and writing, I’ve chosen to add a little humor to the project. I do not want this CD to be a dirge or even a musical tragedy. In fact, in the light of Watchfire Music, our Inspirational company that will be releasing the CD, it’s important that I make the CD uplifting, joyful and exhilarating.

This is not as hard as one might think considering some of the songs that I’ve chosen to include and the fact that I’ve also chosen to consider heaven in the equation.

So I came across that old great camp song, you know, the one that goes,

“Well ya’ can’t get to heaven
Well ya’ can’t get to heaven
On roller skates
On roller skates
Cuz ya’ roll right by
Cuz ya’ roll right by
Dem pearly gates
Dem pearly gates”

I’ve decided, in the light of adding a little humor to the project, to produce a medley of “I Ain’t Gonna Grieve My Lord No More” (the title of the above lyric) and another great classic that I’ll save as a surprise. I’m hard at work now in the studio working on this piece and enjoying it immensely.

It’s funny stuff about dying.

This got me to thinking about the humor of death. So I just spent a couple of hours on Google looking at the humor of death. I have to admit that though I had a few chuckles, most of it was black humor, humor of the macabre, and frankly, a raft of stuff that I’d feel uncomfortable presenting in this blog on all things inspirational.

Let’s face it; death just isn’t that funny a subject. You can squeeze a few laughs from it all, but in the long run, it’s a more a subject for crying than laughter.

There were a few stories, however, that I did find humorous.  Here’s a couple:

Old man lays dying, calls over his young son. Says, “Son, come closer.”  Son comes. “Son,” says the dying, “my one last wish is a piece of the crumb cake in the covered cake dish downstairs.”  Down goes the boy, running and nodding. Five minutes later, he’s back and chagrined. Father says, “What happened?” Son shrugs,  “Ma says it’s for after.”

It’s funnier if you read it with a Jewish accent. Here’s another:

A man checked into a hotel. There was a computer in his room, so he decided to send an e-mail to his wife. However, he accidentally typed a wrong e-mail address, and without realizing his error, he sent the e-mail.

Meanwhile… Somewhere else, a widow had just returned from her husband’s funeral. The widow decided to check her e-mail, expecting condolence messages from relatives and friends.

After reading the first message, she fainted.  The widow’s son rushed into the room, found his mother on the floor, and saw the computer screen which read:

To: My Loving Wife

Subject: I’ve Arrived

Date: 7 October 2006

I know you will be surprised to hear from me. They have computers here, and we are allowed to send e-mails to loved ones. I’ve just arrived and have been checked in. I see that everything has been prepared for your arrival tomorrow. Looking forward to seeing you TOMORROW!

With regards,

Your loving Hubby

Here’s a classic:

A man had four sons. Three of them were strong, handsome men. The fourth one was weak and spindly. He often wondered if maybe this son was not his, but he did not want to doubt his wife. He never spoke of it. Yet, as he lay on his deathbed, he realized that he could not be comfortable about it.

He asked his wife to tell him the truth. Was that boy really his son? She smiled and told him that he was. The man sighed. He was glad his wife had been loyal – but still…

He passed away then. His wife then sighed, “Thank goodness he didn’t ask about the other three.”

That one’s really more about the humor of adultery than death, but, as I said, it’s hard to find really great boffo laughs regarding the subject of death.

Heavenly humor is quite another story. The annuls of comedy are full of St. Peter at the Gate jokes which range from the totally dumb to the quite clever. Of all of them, this was my favorite because of the wit throughout.

Entitled: Forest Gump in Heaven

Forrest Gump dies and goes to Heaven. He is met at the Pearly Gates by St. Peter himself. The gates are closed, however, and Forrest approaches the gatekeeper. St. Peter says, “Well, Forrest, it’s certainly good to see you. We have heard so many good things about you. I must inform you that the place is filling up fast, and we’ve been giving an entrance quiz for everyone. The tests are short, but you need to pass before you can get into Heaven.”

Forrest responds, “It sure is good to be here, St. Peter. I was looking forward to this. Nobody ever told me about any entrance exam. Sure hope the test ain’t too hard; life was a big enough test as it was.”

St. Peter goes on, “I know, Forrest, but the test is only three questions:

1. What days of the week begin with the letter T?

2. How many seconds are there in a year?

3. What is God’s first name?”

Forrest goes away to think the questions over. He returns the next day to take the exam.

St. Peter waves him up and says, “Now that you have had a chance to think the questions over, tell me your answers.”

Forrest says, “Well, the first one how many days of the week begin with the letter ‘T?’ Shucks, that one’s easy. That’d be Today and Tomorrow.’

The Saint’s eyes open wide and he exclaims, “Forrest!  That’s not what I was thinking, but you do have a point, and I guess I didn’t specify, so I will give you credit for that answer.”

“How about the next one?  How many seconds in a year?”

“Now that one’s harder” says Forrest, “but I thought and thought about that and I guess the only answer can be twelve.”

Astounded, St. Peter says, “Twelve? Twelve!  Forrest, how in Heaven’s name could you come up with twelve seconds in a year?”

Forest says, “Aw, come on, St. Peter, there’s gotta be twelve: January second, February second, March second…”

“Hold it” interrupts St. Peter. “I see where you’re going with it.  I guess I see your point, though that wasn’t quite what I had in mind, but I’ll give you credit for that one too.

Let’s go on with the next and final question.  Can you tell me God’s first name?”

Forrest replied, “Andy.”

When St. Peter asked how in the world he came up with the name ‘Andy’, Forrest replied, “You know, St. Peter, that song we sing in church: “Andy walks with me, Andy talks with me.”

OK, I admit, that’s a groaner, but I did chuckle – mostly because it was Forest and we all know him to be imminently funny.

Anyway, humor is a deeply personal thing. What makes one laugh, goes right over the head of others. I do not ever wish the life of a comic on anyone.

I once watched a comic do a whole routine playing a chicken for a huge audience. I had a front row seat. I was waaaay too close. I watched him work and sweat and grunt and squawk and flap madly doing his chicken, and the audience laughed themselves out of their seats. I watched the man work like a prizefighter in the ring. The sweat poured off him like he had just stepped out of the shower. He was scared to death of dying. To me, it wasn’t funny; it was a horror show.

But they laughed.

Humor: it’s a funny thing.

For more inspirational music, thoughts and ideas from music composer, Peter Link,
please visit Watchfire Music.